I never wanted to have children.
There I said it. Out-loud. To the masses. WHEW! Well, it’s just that, I wanted to be the aunt that spoiled all of my nieces and nephews. When I married my husband, we were on the same page. No children. Flash forward 15 years later and we have 4 of God’s most beautiful blessings.
Hey, It happens, right?
And whether we were ready or not, whether we wanted to or not, here we are. The Fann Clan! But what I was not ready for were all of the questions, stipulations, and discrimination we would endure as a “larger” family to today’s society.
“Are they all yours?”
“Wow, you really have your hands full!”
“Are you having anymore?”
Yep, I’ve heard them all (and then some). Not to mention, our family is bi-racial. So there are a slew of other questions, comments and looks that come along with being a black mom surrounded by her 4 lighter-skinned children. I was even told once while we were out one day, by a complete stranger that I was selfish for having so many children.
When we travel, anxiety occurs as we try to figure out hotel accommodations. Depending on where you travel, some places welcome bigger families (Thank you Utah) and others are a shot in the dark. We’ve had to get creative.
We have been “excused” from birthday parties because my family’s attendance would have made up a chunk of the allotted guests. Nevermind that fact that 1. I only allow the invited child to attend and pay for the rest of us without hesitation and 2. We give some pretty awesome gifts if you ask me! But often times we are not even given the option of declining the invite.
Finding someone willing to watch ALL of your children present a challenge in itself.
We have 4 children. It’s not a disease. Or a burden. And they were all planned (Well, except for the one). Our house is always full of laughter and friends and play dates. I applaud the families that have more than 4!
And it’s hard! Oh man, it’s hard. I relish in the times where I can run to the store with 1 or 2 of the kids. I enjoy the times when I spend a day with the girls (or the boys). I look forward to school days where I know I will get a few hours to clean or sleep or eat alone. And lest I forget that there always seems to be one child that is having an “off day”. Bedtime in our house comes welcomed at 8pm sharp, for a reason.
Built-in best friends. Never a dull (or quiet) moment.
My children love each other. While they do argue and disagree, mostly they laugh, imagine, and entertain each other. They make up the best of friends. I wish for them to never feel that they are missing out on anything because of our abundance; even if that means that I have to watch 4 sporting events in one Saturday.
I never imagined my life this hectic or crazy or full of love and adventure, and I couldn’t imagine it any other way!