What Are Your Parent Boundaries?
Do you have them?
What are yours?
What do you do when someone crosses them?
Boundaries are defined as a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.
Boundaries come into play in all facets of life. The friendship that is more one-sided than equal in efforts. The relationship that repeatedly results in worry and heartbreak than feelings of love. The job that asks more of you mentally and physically than is healthy. The unsolicited advice that leaves you questioning yourself.
Remember, boundaries are necessary. Setting and creating boundaries create a peaceful environment which can be pivotal in the early days postpartum. Seems like everyone you encounter will have some sort of opinion, or thought, or feedback about you, your pregnancy, your baby, your experience.
Know your limits!
Set up boundaries mentally, physically, socially, informational, and financially, to help navigate the realm of blissful chaos.
- Physically. You are the owner of your temple. The physical woes and woo hoos of maintaining a healthy physique when postpartum is highly important. Listen to the whispers of your body. You may not realize you have misses your 3rd meal. Listen to the shouts of your body. That sharp pain in your nursing breast, the heavier postpartum bleeding. Set boundaries as to what you put your healing body through.
- Mentally. Keep those around you that will support and lift you up. Give boundaries to visitors with time limits. Fatigue can come in the mental form, therefore allow yourself rest where nothing is going on but being in the moment.
Boundaries are good!
- Socially. Social media and television portray a glamorous postpartum lifestyle. In reality looking 6 months pregnant after delivering and feeling like you’ve been hit by a Mack truck is more the norm. Don’t get discouraged! Give yourself boundaries to how long you will be on social media, what you read and watch, and interactions from those in your circle that are unsupportive or judgmental.
- Informationally. Information is everywhere and at our fingertips. There are books about everything. There are books that decipher the books about everything. And there are even books that state the complete opposite of the books about everything. The truth is, sometimes too much information is not as beneficial as we would like. With parenting there’s right, there’s left, and then there’s your way! Set a boundary for the information you take and the advice you implement from others.
- Financially. Now what one chooses to do with their money, is their prerogative. Yet, babies are expensive and they only get more expensive as they age! There are things that are wants and things that are needs. Car seats-a need. The type of car seat-want. Baby sleeping space-need. Type of sleeping apparatus-want. With everything there are choices. Create a checklist with what you want to splurge on. Be creative! Use your registry for the bigger items for family members, friends, and coworkers to chip in on. A postpartum doula makes the perfect gift!
Boundaries are healthy!
Therefore, get in the habit prenatally of knowing your boundaries and it will be that much easier to address when a boundary pusher arrives.