Tiffany’s Birth Letter to Her Child…
Posted on: April 21, 2025 | birth, Body, Doulas, Famillies, Labor, Love, Motherhood
My Sweet Baby Rae,
Birthing you will forever be one of the wildest experiences of my life. It makes sense that it had to be that way because it set me up for the wild ride that parenting has been. It’s crazy how some parts I can remember like they just happened while others are completely blurry.
Going back over 13 years, I swear it felt like I was going to be pregnant forever! Mind you, we never even reached our due date…The day before you were due to be born, I slept in and got up around 11 am to start my day. When I stood up, there was a trickle of fluid coming down my leg that didn’t stop, not even after going to the bathroom. I wasn’t sure what was happening since I hadn’t had any contractions yet at that point. Not knowing what to think of it, I called my midwife, and she explained that it could be my small bag of waters and to continue going about my day.
The Waiting Game…
I sat on my yoga ball, ate breakfast, and decided to shower. Then, while in the shower, I started to experience contractions, confirming that you were finally on your way! At that point, my contractions were about 15-20 minutes apart. Then, what seemed like a short amount of time passed, and they jumped to 7-8 minutes apart. I spoke to my midwife and decided I was ready to go to your Nini’s house, where we had planned your birth. Cue the most uncomfortable drive of my life!
We finally got to your Nini’s, and I was told to walk around. But after about a block of whining and complaining, I decided I was ready for some tub time. After a few hours, I transferred to my birthing tub. The water was a lot deeper than I expected it to be, so it was harder for me to get into comfortable positions because of how buoyant my body was. Your dad ended up positioning himself behind the tub and was able to hold me in a way that helped give me some support. Pushing time came, and the first push felt amazing! I remember feeling so blown away by how “right” the push felt, and then I was so ready for the next contraction so I could feel that again. But it never came.
Confused and a little frustrated, I remember telling my midwife what was going on. I hoped she would have some kind of explanation for what was happening, but she brushed me off in a way that made me feel like there was something wrong with me for even speaking up about it. Reality check came, and I distinctly remember telling myself that this was it — I had to figure out how to get you out of my body by myself, and no one was going to help me. So, I buckled down, and every time I had some energy, I just pushed with all the strength in me. Hours passed, and I was only somewhat verbally supported whenever I swore.
Birth: The Moment of Truth…
But we did it! I popped every blood vessel in both my eyes, had an oxygen mask, and could barely hold you. But the way I sobbed when I brought you to my chest and looked into your eyes for the first time will forever be my favorite memory.
I’ll always wish I had had more support and guidance during that day, especially since I was only 19. But those feelings are what push me to support birthing people, so they won’t ever feel alone during such an incredible, life-changing experience. Because that’s what you did for me, babygirl — you changed my life.
I know you’ve seen your birth video, but now you know the story behind that day. Thank you for choosing me. Mama loves you so, so much.
XOXO
(Authored by Tiffany as a letter to her daughter. As an expert in birth, Tiffany is a Certified Labor and Postpartum and Infant Care Doula & Postpartum Placenta Specialist)
